Unbalanced Humors: The Submissions Page

Until September 1st

They're not time-wasters... they improve hand/eye coordination! From Pong to Playstation 2, millions of youths have mashed buttons, thrown controllers, and kicked Ganon's ass all over Hyrule. Video games are so popular now that sometimes even girls play them! So it goes without saying that Unbalanced Humors should do a video games issue. After you're done getting the hookshot from the water dungeon, jot some stuff down and send it in.

No, we don't want to rule as your lord and master... we want you to send stuff in! Write, draw, photograph, it doesn't matter. The only thing that does matter is the funny. It's got to be funny. Yeah, funny is a relative term and all, but them's the rules. It's not called Unbalanced Tragedies, is it?

Here's the deal: each issue of Unbalanced Humors is based around a theme. Within that theme, anything goes, as long as it makes us laugh, not cry. Unless we cry from laughing so hard, in which case we'll make an exception.

If you'd like to do something, and you're not sure what we're looking for, take a peek at an issue. Everyone's funny bone is different, but poking through an issue will give you an idea of the basic tone and format of the magazine.

Send your work to submissions@unbalancedhumors.com. Include the name of the issue to which you're submitting in the subject line of the email, and send the actual work along as an attachment. Right now, unfortunately, the only payment you'll receive if your piece appears in the magazine is the warm, tingly happiness that comes with being published on the internet. Someday, Unbalanced Humors wants to be able to pay its contributors with actual money, but that day has not yet come.

We're pretty flexible with the format, but here are some guidelines, just for the hell of it:

Words: Any word processing program will do, but try to send it as an attachment, and not in the body of the email itself. Keep it short. This isn't the golden rule, but in general, shorter is better. 500 words is a good length for a short story or article. 1000 words is on the high end. On the low end, it can be short as you like. Naughty poetry is encouraged.

Pictures: Again, the program you use is up to you, but send it as an attachment, not in the body of the email. For bitmap images, the resolution should be as high as is reasonably possible.

Oh, and naughty stuff is okay, as long as there's a point to it. Vulgarity just for the sake of it belongs only on television.